We do not have a relationship anymore! We can’t even talk to each other without it escalating! I am not sure if I like my partner anymore and vice versa! Or, we are civil towards each other but there is no spark, we have no interest in each other anymore. We do not enjoy each other’s company anymore! I am very lonely and do not believe this relationship is good for my mental health. I cannot trust him or I am not sure if he can trust me. The issues we have been through and our current situation is affecting several areas of my life. I am simply unhappy and do not know if this will ever change. I am tired of trying and yet seeing no results! I am even depressed or in extreme situations have thoughts of running away. I would like to divorce and afraid of the consequences, or I do not want a divorce but I just do not know what to do!
Does this sound like you? If so, I totally understand where you are now and would like to first of all say I truly feel you! This was me some years ago! Yes, I was feeling every negative emotion you can imagine! And my marriage actually ended…then it was revived again! If my marriage was salvageable, I am sure yours is too!
Is it true that every marriage can be saved? Yes and No!
Let me explain. It can be saved if at least one person is willing to do the work it takes! And even the most trivial challenges in marriage can develop into something major if one partner doesn’t make a decision to stop the negative cycle.
Why me? Well, this is something you need to consider very well. Personally, I was not sure I had what it took to be the one to save my marriage. And frankly I wasn’t! Not until I found out what really works! Especially when I realized how simple it was.
And what is that thing that works? It is called a decision to Save the marriage! Anything else is a waste of time! If you are doing what you do to see if the other person is changing, I am sorry to tell you, they will not change just because of what you are doing or not doing!
But there is a method that is so simple and works, which is a decision to save both of you! Now this doesn’t mean you will do all the work, but it means that you will get all the support to be able to change the course of the marriage. And honestly, each of us would like a happy marriage so once you do the main work, 90% of the time, the other person will happily do their part. There is a difference between genuinely saving your marriage and doing things and hoping that it will change the other person. No one can change another! Not in that way anyway!
But people generally respond to what they receive.
Now how do you save your marriage?
By getting the right help from a Coach and the right tools and a uniquely designed solution for your particular situation. No two marriages are the same and the history, the present and our dreams all affect how we feel when things are not so great! This therefore should be taken into consideration when crafting the solution.
Who you are uniquely and your partner as well must be taken into consideration.
When can a marriage not be saved? When no one is willing to do what it takes to save it! And would rather focus on blaming each other. This is devastating for all parties involved and especially children. Because they watch the adults they trust giving up on all of their behalf!
I am not saying it is easy! But it is possible and several marriages have been saved! In extreme situations of abuse, and other serious problems, we are the first to point you in the right direction as abuse is not ok! Even in such situations, you need a safe space to talk about the issue – and get the right help specifically for you. You need healing!
It is not your fault and it is not his fault. It is a combination of the dynamics and the journey thus far.
Do you want to know if your marriage is salvageable or you simply need help to discuss difficult issues and to get some clarity in what your next steps could be?